Kurunegala Letter 210

16. 10. 2012

I will start with my childhood. I had four brothers and one sister. My third brother who was elder to me joined the Army in 1990. By then I was in grade 10. My brother died in Kytes in 1991. That was the year I had to sit for O/Ls. I could not bear the pain. I passed 7 subjects of the O/Ls with two credits. Since I could not pursue higher studies, there was nobody to guide me to become a music teacher- which was my dream.

I went to stay at my aunt’s elder son’s house, with the hope of attending a music class. But years passed. I had to do all the chores in the house, but I was not sent to a class. Meantime, we got a letter which said that the families of the deceased soldiers would be given land. My mother received a plot of land in Sinhapura in Polonnaruwa, and went there to do farming. My mother fell sick. So, I and my aunt went to Welikanda village in Singhapura.

LTTE were fighting severely then. Later I went to bother’s house in Colombo with my aunt. Two weeks later, my aunt came to me and told that there was a good boy to get married to. She said, he was dark, with good manners and sober habits. The family was also good, and they had money. I said it was OK for me, if my mother gives her consent. so, it was only on the day of my marriage that I saw my husband.  I felt like killing myself at that moment. I was wondering why my mother married me off to such a person. The marriage was fixed for 27.12.1994. on the 24th my husband-to-be ‘s father died. My mother handed me over to my husband at the Malpitiya cemetery. I cried, pleaded with her to take me home.

I being a mother of two sons and a daughter, have suffered immensely during the past 18 years. I live for the sake of my children. You may think that I am a person who lives very happily. There is much about my fate untold. Who is responsible for this situation? I don’t know. I believe that I am paying for the sins of my previous birth. But I don’t get weak. I will make the best of life.


A suffering mother and a wife